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How I learned to stop feeling bad about my failure and accepted my new ‘psychologist’ self

I still recall my 18-year-old self who dreamt of becoming a doctor. My only goal at the time was to pass the NEET exam. My dream was shattered when I didn’t get admission in a government medical college of my choice. However, sometimes a ‘wrong’ turn takes you to your intended destination and I started out on my journey to become a psychologist. It’s not becoming a psychologist is a lot of people’s childhood dream. As such, I had a slew of questions for myself—where did I fall short? Was it my fate? Was it karma?

My hopes had just been dashed. Having psychology as an optional subject made me reconsider my options, and I ended up taking the subject as my graduation program.  Throughout my first semester of college, I kept second-guessing my decision and considered changing my major or taking a year off. But Covid happened and working from home made me realise the beauty of this subject.

I began to enjoy what I was doing and studying. Everyone was asking me how to deal with the new normal—you are a psychology student, so please assist! Seeing things from a different perspective, understanding other people’s situations, being gentle with others, and learning and unlearning are some of the things I’ve learned on this journey so far. I soon realised that while doctors save you from multiple injuries or serious illnesses, psychologists give people a new ray of hope to cherish their lives.

I never imagined myself as a psychologist, but I have come to believe that everything happens for a reason. Self-acceptance is an important trait and accepting that humans are terrible at it is the first step. My constant battle with myself about not becoming a doctor ended that day when I made someone think about giving life another chance. Saving a life is all that matters in the end, whether you’re a doctor, a soldier, or a psychologist. Taking uncharted roads can sometimes lead to a wonderful journey.

I don’t regret doing MBBS because I am still saving lives. I may not be prescribing medications, but I am able to make a difference through my words. Writing this article reminded me of a quote by Rumi, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world, now I’m wiser, so I’m changing myself.” Moulding myself along the way is what makes me happy. I may be an accidental psychologist, but I will undoubtedly try to become a better version of myself every day.

The author is a student at Shree Guru Gobind Singh Tricentenary University, Gurugram. views are personal.


Source: The Print

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